Silent Treatment.
Silent treatment were really a bad things. Its terrible. The way someone choose to stay quiet and leave the problem unsolved; let the other person confused, yet, they might expect the person to understand what was projected on their mind. They expect the other person to fully understand, what was going on, what should they do, without telling them any words. Its painful, actually — since most of them didn’t realize that their actions giving a lot of bad effect. People who did Silent Treatment are selfish; feeding their ego to make the other person questioning about his worth; his fault —make them feel powerless. Let me say it, it’s the worst psychological aggression and the best way to murder someone emotionally.
I didn’t realize all of that since i was the one who always make that move. Yes, lets just call it the “Silent Phase” i made. To be honest — it feels good to feed my ego. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not doing it on purpose. It just the way i used to be, it helps me a lot to reduce the amount of emotional trait and bad words i could said at the moment; which would make it even worst. It became my habit. Silence help me to cool down for a little while. I was thinking that “Silent Phase” is the best way to solve the problem; with no reasoning and leave them away just like that. To let their brain proceeds what was going on and what do they did wrong for the whole night. I was wrong, Its such an emotional abuse that make you feel like you have control over the other one.
I heard this quotes,
“Every word has consequences, every silence too.” — Jean-Paul Sartre
I was raised with a toxic traits by my mom. I didn’t mean to say that she’s the villain here. It was a so-called love and hate relationship. I do loved her beyond everything, i swear. It’s just a side effect that last ever since i was a kid. Yup, she always me give me that silence every time she get mad even for the smallest things. The silence haunted me every day, every night. It was full of tense since we live together. I’m such a clueless kid. It’s really sucks to feel ignored and powerless. It could last for days, weeks, or even the whole months, with no talking at all and became such a big issues that haven’t been solved. I wish i could just said “Grow up and learn to communicate” but i know it’s just too rude.
Anyways, just like the quotes, every silence has the consequence. And here it is, the side effect that last for so long. I grew up for years and always convince myself that its fine to stay silent and guilt trip the other person. It’s fine to make them feel bad and clueless and yet expect them to understand my mind. It’s fine not to communicate, and build a huge wall to ignore the other person. It’s fine for being selfish and feed my own ego. All this time i was normalize those things because i live and raised like that. It took me a while to realize that it’s not a THINGS! Avoiding problems would not solve anything anyways. Being silent and let the other person suffering would not make you any better than a person who explode their emotions directly. This is so basic but communication is really a key. If you really need that space and gap, tell them directly. Tell them that you need time to calm down yourself. Enjoy your time of being unbothered, and talk about the problem later. They’ll respect you even more. It’s hard, i know. But isn’t it hurt to see people hanging and wondering about what did they do wrong in a quiet space?
